# Calculus Jokes

Some of my favorite Calculus jokes are: Q: Why should you not mix alcohol and calculus? A: Because you should not drink and derive.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What can I get you?” The first mathematician says, “I’ll have one-half of a beer.” The second mathematician says, “I’ll have one-quarter of a beer.” The third mathematician says, “I’ll have one eighth of a beer.” The fourth mathematician says, “I’ll have one-sixteenth . . .” The bartender interrupts them, pours out a single beer and replies, “Know your limits.”

Two mathematicians, Isaac and Gottfried, are in a pub. Isaac bemoans the lack of mathematical knowledge among the general public, but Gottfried is more optimistic. To prove his point, Gottfried waits until Isaac goes to the bathroom and calls over the barmaid. He explains that he is going to ask her a question when Isaac returns, and the barmaid simply has to reply: “One third x cubed.” She replies: “Won thud ex-what?” Gottfried repeats the statement, but more slowly this time: “One . . . third . . . x . . . cubed.” The barmaid seems to get it, more or less, and walks away muttering over and over again: “Won thud ex-cubed.” Isaac returns, he downs another drink with Gottfried, the argument continues and eventually Gottfried asks over the barmaid to prove his point: “Isaac, let’s try an experiment. Miss, do you mind if I ask you a simple calculus question? What is the integral of x^2 ?” The barmaid stops, scratches her head, and hesitantly regurgitates: “Won . . . thud . . . ex-cubed.” Gottfried smiles smugly, but just before the barmaid walks away she stares at the two mathematicians and says: “. . . plus a constant!”

Comment and share your jokes too!

Note by Rishabh Raj
6 years, 5 months ago

This discussion board is a place to discuss our Daily Challenges and the math and science related to those challenges. Explanations are more than just a solution — they should explain the steps and thinking strategies that you used to obtain the solution. Comments should further the discussion of math and science.

When posting on Brilliant:

• Use the emojis to react to an explanation, whether you're congratulating a job well done , or just really confused .
• Ask specific questions about the challenge or the steps in somebody's explanation. Well-posed questions can add a lot to the discussion, but posting "I don't understand!" doesn't help anyone.
• Try to contribute something new to the discussion, whether it is an extension, generalization or other idea related to the challenge.
• Stay on topic — we're all here to learn more about math and science, not to hear about your favorite get-rich-quick scheme or current world events.

MarkdownAppears as
*italics* or _italics_ italics
**bold** or __bold__ bold
- bulleted- list
• bulleted
• list
1. numbered2. list
1. numbered
2. list
Note: you must add a full line of space before and after lists for them to show up correctly
paragraph 1paragraph 2

paragraph 1

paragraph 2

[example link](https://brilliant.org)example link
> This is a quote
This is a quote
    # I indented these lines
# 4 spaces, and now they show
# up as a code block.

print "hello world"
# I indented these lines
# 4 spaces, and now they show
# up as a code block.

print "hello world"
MathAppears as
Remember to wrap math in $$ ... $$ or $ ... $ to ensure proper formatting.
2 \times 3 $2 \times 3$
2^{34} $2^{34}$
a_{i-1} $a_{i-1}$
\frac{2}{3} $\frac{2}{3}$
\sqrt{2} $\sqrt{2}$
\sum_{i=1}^3 $\sum_{i=1}^3$
\sin \theta $\sin \theta$
\boxed{123} $\boxed{123}$

Sort by:

Newton and Leibniz would never go to a bar together :D

- 6 years, 5 months ago

lol................

- 6 years, 5 months ago

Hahahahaha!! The last one was funny! :)

- 6 years, 5 months ago

# Calculus #Jokes #fun

- 6 years, 5 months ago