# Math Jokes

This may not be the most intense math discussion, but I am in need of some math jokes. It seems every year at math competitions there are always times when you need a great joke. (It was once a filler question at a Mu Alpha Theta, a time staller at Mathcounts, and now I need something for T-shirt design.) I think some Brilliant users are experts on this topic and I would love some feedback. Vote up the best!

Note by Justin Wong
6 years ago

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I went to visit him while he was lying ill at the hospital. I had come in taxi cab number 14 and remarked that it was a rather dull number. "No" he replied, "it is a very interesting number. It's the smallest number expressible as the product of 7 and 2 in two different ways."

(it's a reference to Ramanujan number, google it if you don't understand)

- 5 years, 12 months ago

Corny but good

- 5 years, 12 months ago

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?

To get to the same side.

- 5 years, 12 months ago

One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence. The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design. The physicist made a long, straight line and proclaimed 'We can assume the length is infinite...' and pointed out that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it. The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said 'I declare myself to be on the outside.'

- 5 years, 12 months ago

Conversation between Idiot Student (I.S) & Brilliant Teacher (B.T)..........

I.S:-Hey Yo teacher can i test your brain with critical riddles?? B.T:-U will test ME?!Huh! let's see... I.S:-In an aeroplane there were 50 bricks & 1 fell down,so how many are left? B.T:-umm...don't know (thinking the answer must not be too easy as it sounds!) I.S:- FORTY-NINE! B.T:- >:\ I.S:-With how many steps you will put an elephant in a freezer? B.T:-U say, I.S:-3!step.1 open the door step.2 put the elephant inside step.3 close the door!!! B.T:-Very funny! I.S:-And how many steps to put a giraffe? B.T:-Is it 3? I.S:-No it's 4!step.1 open the door step.2 take the elephant out step.3 put the giraffe in step.4 close the door!!! B.T:-Nonsense!! I.S:-Okay..last one,a person knows a short-cut to go to a place by crossing a river and there are many crocodiles,and me must take the short-cut as he had an emergency,but how will he out-cross the crocodile??with no boats.. B.T:-He can't! I.S:-Yes he can!! B.T:-Why don;t you tell me, genius!! I.S:-That brick from the plane falls on the head of the crocodile and thus the person was safe!!!!! B.T:-Argh!!:@ I should have known whom am i answering to!!!!

- 5 years, 12 months ago

What is $\int \frac1{cabin} \, \mathrm{d}cabin$ ?

Answer: no, it's not a log cabin, it's a houseboat: you forgot to add the C!

- 5 years, 12 months ago

I almost didn't get this because I considered $\ln(\text{cabin})$, not $\log(\text{cabin})$.

- 5 years, 12 months ago

The scientist's proof that all odd numbers are prime:

1 is prime.(according to some mathematicians) 3 is prime. 5 is prime. 7 is prime. 9, must be an exception, I'll have to come back to it later. 11 is prime. 13 is prime. Obviously, all odd numbers are prime.

- 5 years, 12 months ago

A businessman, a biologist and a mathematician were hanging out in front of a bar. Two people entered the bar, then a few minutes later three went out. The businessman said "They've made a profit." The biologist said, "They must have reproduced." The mathematician disagreed and said, "If one more person enters the room there will be no one inside."

- 5 years, 12 months ago

A doctor, a physicist, and a statistician are going hunting. They see a deer $100$ yards away. The doctor offers to shoot first. Using surgicalprecision, he aims, but just as he fires, the deer moves towards him, and he misses 5 yards long. The physicist goes second. He assumes a vacuum and neglects gravity (I never said he was a good physicist), aims, and fires but misses $5$ yards short. The statistician yells, "We got it!"

- 5 years, 12 months ago

Really famous one (and short also)

Let $\epsilon < 0$

- 5 years, 12 months ago

A mathematician, a logician, and a scientist board a train in scotland. As they ride, they see a red cow on the road.

The scientist says,"Look! There is a red cow in Scotland!"

Then the logician says,"No, there is at least one red cow in Scotland."

Then the mathematician says,"No, there is at least one cow with half its body red in Scotland."

- 5 years, 12 months ago

There are 10 types of people in this world-- people that know hexadecimal and F the rest.

- 5 years, 12 months ago

This may not be suitable for your T-shirt design, but my favorite source of math related humor is spikedmath.com. I think spikedmath is simply brilliant! And you should check it out if you are interested in math and have some time to spare. Here are a couple of my favorites:

Don't try this at home!

World Annihilation

Geeky Revenge

The Joke Book

By the way, do you know the wikipedia entry for List of numbers is "incomplete and you can help by expanding it."?

You can also check out this Quora page for more jokes.

- 5 years, 12 months ago

Last comic type joke is the best.😄

- 5 years ago

A mathematician is travelling in a desert in a dlux car , he wants to take bath but no water is available, how will he do? well this is a joke does anyone know the answer

- 6 years ago

he will intergrate lux w.r.t d and he will get a constant C= sea using "lux" soap and Sea he will take a bath...FACEBOOK!

- 5 years, 12 months ago

hello, see here

http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?t=crmtb01&f=ob&i=tell%20me%20a%20math%20joke

Sonnhard.

(refresh the page to get more jokes)

- 6 years ago

Sonnhard hahahahahahah

- 5 years, 12 months ago

easily the funniest thing i've encountered during my math career. this comment is hilarious. terrific inside joke.

- 5 years, 12 months ago

It was proven by Cantor that a good math joke exists, but his proof was entirely non-constructive.

- 6 years ago

what did the constipated mathematician do? ans-He worked it out with a pencil.

- 6 years ago

So that's why they're called Number 2 pencils...

- 5 years, 12 months ago

Ba dum tiss.

- 5 years, 12 months ago

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders 1 beer. The second orders 1/2 of a beer. The third, 1/4 of a beer. The fourth, 1/8 of a beer. Before the fifth mathematician can place his order, the bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders 1 beer. The second orders 1/2 of a beer. The third, 1/3 of a beer. The fourth, 1/4 of a beer. Before the fifth mathematician can place his order, the bartender says, "You think I've got enough for everybody? Shoo!" and hustles them all out.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders 1 beer. The second orders 1/(1!) of a beer. The third, 1/(2!) of a beer. The fourth, 1/(3!) of a beer. Before the fifth mathematician can place his order, the bartender says, "You'd better have a rational way to pay this bill!"

A finite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders 1 beer. The second orders 1 beer. The third orders 1 beer. The fourth orders 1 beer. Before the fifth mathematician can place his order, the bartender says, "Finally, some normal people!"

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders 1 beer. The second sells him 1 beer. The third buys 1 beer. The fourth sells him 1 beer. Before the fifth mathematician can place his order, the bartender says, "How do you expect me to work out how much this is gonna cost?" and chases them out.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar where each beer costs \$1. The first one orders 1 beer. The second orders 2 beers. The third orders 4 beers. The fourth orders 8 beers. Before the fifth mathematician can place his order, the bartender tosses them a dollar...

- 6 years ago

I dont get the last one

- 6 years ago

- 5 years, 12 months ago

try to google "1 + 2 + 4 + 8 + ... = -1"

- 5 years, 12 months ago

It's hard to google such kind of things. You have to memorize Wikipedia article titles for that.

- 5 years, 12 months ago

Didn't find anything on google but I assume now it has to do something with ramanujan summation? I just didn't understand the dollar part.

- 5 years, 12 months ago

the one dollar tossed is equivalent to a glass of beer (though if I think about it, it'd be funnier if the bartender threw a glass of beer to the mathematicians).

- 5 years, 12 months ago

Well it is for people who don't understand the infinite geometric series sum series. $\dfrac{1}{1-2}=-1$

- 5 years, 12 months ago

Google.com Your search - 1 + 2 + 4 + 8 + ... = -1 - did not match any documents.

- 5 years, 12 months ago

my bad... should've been "1 + 2 + 4 + 8 + ..." instead. =P

- 5 years, 12 months ago

A infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders 1 beer. The second orders 2 beers. The third orders 3 beers. The fourth orders 4 beers. Before the fifth mathematician can place his order, the bartender gets the pattern and pours negative one twelfth of a beer.

- 6 years ago

probably infinite number of people in a bar where bartender is mathematician :P :D

- 5 years, 6 months ago

This was superb!! :D

- 6 years ago

Poor 5th mathematician :-(.. No beer for him..

- 6 years ago

good observation... =))

- 6 years ago

Lol

- 1 year, 8 months ago

Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25

- 6 years ago

$\int body=boy+C$

- 6 years ago

Alt text

Warning: You may lose marks depending on the teacher!

- 5 years, 12 months ago

:-D...will try the next time..

- 5 years, 12 months ago

+C

- 6 years ago

Edited...Thanks

- 6 years ago

"There are $10$ kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who didn't expect this joke to be in base 3"

Another one I remembered: What's an anagram for Banach-Tarski?

Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski.

- 6 years ago

in binary 10 means 2 lol

- 5 years, 11 months ago

Haha, the second one was nice, never heard of it before.

- 5 years, 12 months ago

only if you have choice. =P

in case anyone's wondering, Banach-Tarski's proof relies on axiom of choice, so only if you "have choice", can you say Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski is an anagram of Banach-Tarski.

- 5 years, 12 months ago

The B in Benoît B. Mandelbrot stand for Benoît B. Mandelbrot.

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip? To get to the same same side.

$(\sqrt{(-shit)} )^2$ SHIT JUST GOT REAL

A programmer's wife tells him: "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. And if they have eggs, get a dozen". The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children? "I've told you $n$ times, I've told you $n+1$ times..."

Hey girl, what's your sine? It must be $\pi /2$ because you're the $1$.

Baby, you’re a $9.999999999 \ldots$ but you’d be a $10$ if you were with me.

How does one insult a mathematician? You say: "Your brain is smaller than any $\epsilon > 0$"

If I was $\sin^2$ and you were $\cos^2$ together we would be $1$.

Our love is like dividing by zero…. you cannot define it.

Proof that every positive integer is interesting. By Contradiction: assume that there exists an uninteresting positive integer. Then there must be a smallest uninteresting positive integer. But that's pretty interesting! Therefore a contradiction!

Don't be a $\frac {d^3 x}{dt^3}$

Foolproof: A Sampling of Mathematical Folk Humor

4 out of 3 people struggle with math.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The answer is trivial and is left as an exercise for the reader.

- 6 years ago

I don't get the 12th joke,could you explain it?

- 5 years, 12 months ago

In physics, $x$ usually represents position and $t$ time. The first derivative of position with respect to time is velocity, the change of position. The second derivative is acceleration, the change of velocity. The third is jerk, the change of acceleration. Of course, everyone knows another, negative meaning of "jerk".

- 5 years, 12 months ago

I really loved the pickup lines. So creative!

- 5 years, 12 months ago

To prove: mom=dad ie.mama=papa Proof:Pressure(p)=Force/Area(a) pa=force but,force=ma therefore,ma=pa squaring on both sides mama=papa Q.E.D.

- 6 years ago

How do you prove that $\frac 1 \infty = 0 \implies \frac 1 0 =\infty$?

First you write the first equation.

$\frac 1 \infty = 0.$

Then you rotate both sides anti-clockwise 90 degrees:

$-18 = 0.$

Now you add 8 to both sides.

$-10 = 8.$

And you rotate both sides clockwise 90 degrees:

$\frac 1 0 = \infty.$

(QED).

- 6 years ago

Awesome!!!

- 5 years, 10 months ago

great

- 5 years, 12 months ago

Everyone knows this, but "There are 10 types of people in the world; those who know binary, and those who don't."

- 6 years ago

...and those who mistake ternary for binary.

- 6 years ago

$\left( \lim_{x\to 8^+} \frac{1}{x-8} = \infty \right) \Rightarrow \left( \lim_{x\to 3^+} \frac{1}{x-3} = \omega \right)$

- 6 years ago

Girl: "How do I look?" Boy: "tan(c)/sin(c)" Girl: "Aww..."

- 6 years ago

"I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate by 90 degrees and try again"

- 6 years ago

How did the physicist square the circle?

$\pi$ is approximately 4.

I'm subscribed to this thread. Looking forward to hearing all the jokes :)

Staff - 6 years ago

- 6 years ago

check out Math Memes on facebook.

- 6 years ago

trololol why is this getting downvoted.

- 6 years ago