# Some cool math jokes

Here's a collection of some of the math jokes I found online.

Two random variables were talking in a bar. They thought they were discrete but I heard their chatter continuously.

What does a mathematician use to measure the weight of trees? A Log Scale.

How do you tell one bathroom full of statisticians from another? Check the p-value.

A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

Why can't you trust atoms? Those guys make up everything.

Where does bad light end up? In a prism.

What do you call 8 Hobbits? A Hobbyte.

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand ternary, those who don't, and those who thought this was a binary joke.

Note by James Holcombe
7 years, 4 months ago

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A mathematician, a physicist, and a biologist are drinking coffee in a restaurant. They are able to see the door to a building across the street. They see a man and his wife walk into a building, and then five minutes later, the man, his wife, and a third person walking out.

"They must have reproduced," said the biologist.

"No, there's an error in the measurement," replied the physicist.

"If one more person enters the building, then the building will be completely empty," proclaimed the mathematician. $\text{...............................................................................................................}$ A doctor, a physicist (who is currently looking for a job), and a statistician are going hunting together. They see a deer a hundred meters away. The doctor offers to shoot first. He lines up his shot, but just as he fires, the deer jumps forward, and the shot misses five meters long. The physicist offers to go next. Assuming a vacuum where air resistance is nonexistent, he fires, but misses five meters short. The statistician yells, "We got it!" $\text{...............................................................................................................}$ How to get a large amount of money very quickly. Say you are running a lottery with an infinite payout. People will flock to you to buy your tickets. For the person or people who won, pay them $\1$ the first week, $\\frac{1}{2}$ the second week, $\\frac{1}{3}$ the week after that... $\text{...............................................................................................................}$ $\textit{Valentine's Day poetry from a mathematician.}$

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

It's one month until Pi Day.

$3.141592$

- 7 years, 4 months ago

A mathematician, a physicist, and a biologist are drinking coffee in a restaurant. They are able to see the door to a building across the street. They see a man and his wife walk into a building, and then five minutes later, the man, his wife, and a third person walking out.

How many people are in the building at the first time? If it's not zero, the mathematician is incorrect.

- 7 years, 4 months ago

The original joke said the building was originally empty. The poster accidentally butchered the joke a little :P

- 7 years, 4 months ago

If the building is originally empty, then the scenario can't occur. What did I "butcher?"

- 7 years, 4 months ago

If the building is not originally empty, all three of them are wrong.

- 7 years, 4 months ago

Some people are not so good at math, so they won't get some of these jokes. After all, $\frac{4}{3}$ of all people have trouble with fractions.

- 7 years, 4 months ago

Halloween joke: What do you get when you divide a jack o' lantern's circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.

- 7 years, 4 months ago

One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence. The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design. The physicist made a long, straight line and proclaimed 'We can assume the length is infinite...' and pointed out that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it. The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said 'I declare myself to be on the outside.'

- 7 years, 3 months ago

Here's an old thread of good jokes. Enjoy!

- 7 years, 4 months ago

Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about that post... And I repeated my joke. Oops!

- 7 years, 4 months ago

Thanks for digging up some old treasures :)

- 7 years, 3 months ago

HEY , NICE ONES.

- 7 years, 4 months ago

Its NICE !!!!

- 7 years, 4 months ago

I like the atoms one

- 3 years, 5 months ago