See, the issue I always had with the "hey what's your sine?" joke is that \(\sin(1) \neq \pi/2\). Rather, \(\arcsin(1) = \pi/2\)! But if you say "Hey babe what's your arcsine" it loses the pun.

A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting in a street café watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people entering the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three people leaving the house.

The physicist says, "Well, it looks like we made a measurement error."

The biologist says, "Look at that, they must have reproduced."

The mathematician says, "Hmm... if one more person enters the house then it will be empty."

Q: Why is a math book always unhappy?
A: Because it always has lots of problems.

The mother of already three is pregnant with her fourth child.
One evening, the eldest daughter says to her dad: "Do you know, daddy, what I've found out?"
"No."
"The new baby will be Chinese!"
"What?!"
"Yes. I've read in the paper that statistics shows that every fourth child born nowadays is Chinese..."

Old mathematicians never die, they just lose some of their functions.

A math classroom sign read, "Mathematics dispensed here, bring your own
container."

Why was the math student's exam wet when the teacher returned it?
.... (because it was below C-level)

Why did the student eat his math exam?
.... (because the teacher said that it was "a piece of cake")

Top ten excuses for not doing homework:
• I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
• Isaac Newton's birthday.
• I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.
• I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
• I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
• I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
• I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
• I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.
• I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee.
• I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
• I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.

One Day day a constant function f(x)=c and f(x)=e(pow,x) was roaming together.
Suddenly they both saw that a differential operator d/d() was approaching.
the constant function freaked out of fear and left the place very quickly.
the f(x)=e(pow, x) was smiling to see that fear, and he said to himself, d/d(x) can do nothing to me.
When the differential operator got closer, it was a partial differential operator d/d(y)....................

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication On the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I.”
ELLEN: I is…
TEACHER: No, Ellen….. Always say, “I am.”
ELLEN: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

Santa reported for his university final examination, which consists of “Yes/No” type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet yes for heads and no for tails.Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately flipping the coin, muttering and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on?

Santa replies, “I’m rechecking my answers and I don’t think I did very good.”

A statistician was leaving the departures section of an airport. A friend was talking to him, asking why he did not want to go on the plane.
"Well, says the statistician, the odds of a bomb being on a plane is too high, so I have decided to drive rather than fly."
The next day, the friend and the statistician once again meet.
"Well," says the friend, "you're back. Have you proved your calculations to be wrong?"
"No," replies the statistician. "But I calculated the odds of two bombs to be low enough and in my comfort zone. So I brought my own."

A derivative walks into a bar full of numbers. All of the numbers start running around chaotically, fearing that the derivative might actually derive them and thus change them for ever (and ever). However, one number just keeps sitting on its chair with its back turned towards the derivative. The derivative walks up to the number and says:

"You think you're pretty strong, huh punk? Wait 'till you get a taste of --", to which the number replies:
"Na-a! I'm \(e^{x}\)!"

Okay, since this thread has diverged a little from math, I'm going forth with an economics joke I like:

An economist is walking down the street, and meets his friend. His friend says, "Oh hi there. How are you?" And the economist asks, "Compared to what?"

Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is pi ?"
The engineer said: "It is approximately 3 and 1/7"
The physicist said: "It is 3.14159"
The mathematician thought a bit, and replied "It is equal to pi".
(A nutritionist: "Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!" )

## Comments

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TopNewestHere are my favourites

poor

ursine

dr

d2

For the romantics...

dd

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Two black cats are on the surface of a roof, which one will fall of first?

The one with the smaller meu

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Nice one.....

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Both at tge same time

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+1 for the top one about feeding a family of four :)

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That awkward moment when \( \lim _{ x\rightarrow 8 }{ \frac { 1 }{ x\quad -\quad 8 } } \) is undefined

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What do you call people who drink and derive?

CALCAHOLICSLog in to reply

Nice ones.

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See, the issue I always had with the "hey what's your sine?" joke is that \(\sin(1) \neq \pi/2\). Rather, \(\arcsin(1) = \pi/2\)! But if you say "Hey babe what's your arcsine" it loses the pun.

I dunno, maybe there's a way to make this work.

EDIT: oops, I meant to reply to @Thaddeus Abiy

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or

You must be made of oxygen and Neon because you are the \(O^8_{15.9}\)\(Ne^{10}_{20.18}\)

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@Thaddeus Abiy I legitimately laughed out loud at that first one. Thanks, I'll use that next time I'm out putting on the moves.

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A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting in a street café watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people entering the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three people leaving the house.

The physicist says, "Well, it looks like we made a measurement error."

The biologist says, "Look at that, they must have reproduced."

The mathematician says, "Hmm... if one more person enters the house then it will be empty."

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LOL. "Negative" people.

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The mathematician's reply was the funniest one....LOL.

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Why did Microsoft rename the XBox 720 as the XBox One?

COS 720 EQUALS ONE

:D * grins uncontrollably *

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NICE!

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Nice one

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Nice man!

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This is a tad inappropriate, but I laugh every time I see this:

\((\sqrt{-shit})^{2}\) SHIT JUST GOT REAL

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I love this one :D

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:O

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:0:o

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LOL

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Q: Why is a math book always unhappy? A: Because it always has lots of problems.

The mother of already three is pregnant with her fourth child. One evening, the eldest daughter says to her dad: "Do you know, daddy, what I've found out?" "No." "The new baby will be Chinese!" "What?!" "Yes. I've read in the paper that statistics shows that every fourth child born nowadays is Chinese..."

Old mathematicians never die, they just lose some of their functions.

A math classroom sign read, "Mathematics dispensed here, bring your own container."

Why was the math student's exam wet when the teacher returned it? .... (because it was below C-level)

Why did the student eat his math exam? .... (because the teacher said that it was "a piece of cake")

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i boyfriend teased her girl friend by saying "today you are looking tan c /sin c " and she blushed,do you know why ?

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cause u look sec c XD

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sec c

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Top ten excuses for not doing homework: • I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames. • Isaac Newton's birthday. • I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it. • I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin. • I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged. • I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy. • I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it. • I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one. • I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee. • I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk. • I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.

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Math teacher to a naught student : I will differentiate and integrate you.. Student: Mam, I am exp(x)! Do wt ever u want :P

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and then teacher will say, you are exp(x), i will differentiate with respect to y . CLEAN BOWLED

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epic!!

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One Day day a constant function f(x)=c and f(x)=e(pow,x) was roaming together. Suddenly they both saw that a differential operator d/d() was approaching. the constant function freaked out of fear and left the place very quickly. the f(x)=e(pow, x) was smiling to see that fear, and he said to himself, d/d(x) can do nothing to me. When the differential operator got closer, it was a partial differential operator d/d(y)....................

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Here's a good one:

Dear calculus, Please limit yourself. Sincerely, you're deriving me crazy.

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TEACHER: Why are you late? WEBSTER: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? WEBSTER: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? SARAH: H I J K L M N O!! TEACHER: What are you talking about? SARAH: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication On the floor? CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: George!

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I.” ELLEN: I is… TEACHER: No, Ellen….. Always say, “I am.” ELLEN: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

Santa reported for his university final examination, which consists of “Yes/No” type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet yes for heads and no for tails.Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately flipping the coin, muttering and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on?

Santa replies, “I’m rechecking my answers and I don’t think I did very good.”

Get More Jokes Here ::

Jokes Ki Duniya

Mast Egg

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LOL...In my tongue language, these jokes won't work...But they're nice!

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A statistician was leaving the departures section of an airport. A friend was talking to him, asking why he did not want to go on the plane. "Well, says the statistician, the odds of a bomb being on a plane is too high, so I have decided to drive rather than fly." The next day, the friend and the statistician once again meet. "Well," says the friend, "you're back. Have you proved your calculations to be wrong?" "No," replies the statistician. "But I calculated the odds of two bombs to be low enough and in my comfort zone. So I brought my own."

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Much smart.

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(P+L)(A+N) = PA+PN+LA+LN

Your plan just got FOILED! :D

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Hey girl, is math your favourite subject??? Because you look cute in every angle =))))

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Expand (a+b)^2 .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .the answer is ( a. + b. ). ^ 2

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For scientists alcohol is not a problem, it is a solution.

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WHY tan=sin/cos

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A derivative walks into a bar full of numbers. All of the numbers start running around chaotically, fearing that the derivative might actually derive them and thus change them for ever (and ever). However, one number just keeps sitting on its chair with its back turned towards the derivative. The derivative walks up to the number and says:

"You think you're pretty strong, huh punk? Wait 'till you get a taste of --", to which the number replies: "Na-a! I'm \(e^{x}\)!"

B'dum tish!

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cos b

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cos

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The actor is Bill (sin b / tan b) = Bill Cos b = Bill Cosby

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Alcohol and Calculus do not mix."Never drink and derive".LOL

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sin(x)/n=six

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Okay, since this thread has diverged a little from math, I'm going forth with an economics joke I like:

An economist is walking down the street, and meets his friend. His friend says, "Oh hi there. How are you?" And the economist asks, "Compared to what?"

If you dig economics humor, I highly recommend Yoram Bauman, the "Stand-Up Economist"

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Chemistry Joke:

Did you hear that benzene is forgetting its own formula?

I think it is going phenyl

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Not maths, but this is chemistry

Do you know what happened to the two double bonds? I am diene to know

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cos b

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cos b

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-2=-2 => 4-6=1-3 => 4-6+(9/4) =1-3+(9/4) =>(2-(3/2))^2=(1-(3/2))^2 => 2-(3/2)=1-(3/2) => 2=1(prvd)

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What would a boy call a girl in order to seduce her in mathematical term? Hey bebe , you look the reciprocal of cos c...

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Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is pi ?" The engineer said: "It is approximately 3 and 1/7" The physicist said: "It is 3.14159" The mathematician thought a bit, and replied "It is equal to pi".

(A nutritionist: "Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!" )

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ques prove cos=sine

mutiply 0 on lhs and mutiply 0 on rhs lhs=rhs hence sinetheta=costheta

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prove sintheta=costheta

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boy: girl,are u an irrational number? girl: why? boy: because my love for you is irrational and never ending.. :P

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cosinebee

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cos b

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cos b

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cos b

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noiter award goes to??????????????????????

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